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12 TIPS FOR PARENTING THE CHILD WITH ADHD
These tips are intended for general educational purposes only and are
not intended as a substitute for professional advice for individual children and families which should only be obtained from
a licensed professional with direct knowledge of the individual child and his/her circumstances.
1)
Never talk to the back
of your child’s head. Whenvever you speak to your child, make sure he is looking directly at you
and the TV is off and he is not engaged in other activities. If he looks away from you, tell him to look
at you before you continue talking.
2) Tell your child specifically what behaviors you expect when transitioning
into a new situation, such as starting dinner, starting homework, going into a supermarket or visiting a relative.
Every ten minutes, give your child verbal praise for specific behaviors, such as “You’re doing a great
job keeping your hands off the items on the shelves,” or “I’m proud of you for using your words and keeping
your hands to yourself.”
3) When doing homework, get a sense of the maximum amount of time your child can pay attention to her
work, and then make your child stop when that time period is up. Take a short break, about two minutes,
and resume working for the same amount of time. If you make your child sit and work longer than her attention
span will allow, she will get bored and it will be unproductive, resulting in your child associating homework with feelings
of frustration and punishment.
4) When supervising homework, break the work down into small, manageable chunks. For
example, instead of giving your child a sheet of paper with 20 math problems on it, give him two math problems to do, then
check them for accuracy, and then give him another two problems.
5) If your child has a long-term school assignment, such as a book
report or a research report, break the project down into daily goals, so your child has a small but definite task to accomplish
each day, leading up to the completion of the assignment.
6) If your child has social skills problems or problems attending in group situations,
plan to have her involved in small, structured and adult supervised activities with a limited number of children.
These can be organized activities such as scouts or a team, or play dates and outings organized by you.
7)
It is usually preferable
to base your behavior management system rewarding positive behaviors that you want to see more of, than on punishing negative
behaviors.
8)
When using punishments,
limit the time the punishment is in effect to the day of the infraction, if possible. Long-term punishments
are not very effective, because the more time that there is between the behavior and the consequence, the less the consequence
gets associated with the behavior, so maintaining a punishment for several days rarely works. Furthermore,
if your child’s behavior is good the day or days after the infraction, and the punishment is in place, the child is
actually being punished for good behavior. Short-lived but meaningful consequences usually are best.
9)
If there are two parents
in the home, it is OK to disagree with your spouse over consequences. It is best to do so in private and
arrive at a mutually agreed upon solution. Do not undermine your spouse’s authority by giving permission
to do something your spouse has forbidden or by unilaterally cancelling a punishment.
10) If your child commits two punishable infractions in one day, it
is generally better to take two things away for that day rather than extend the punishment for another day.
11) Be clear and specific about the behavior you expect. “Behave yourself,”
“Be good” or “Get ready,” are too vague. “Use your words, not your hands,”
or “Brush your teeth now,” are better.
12) When doing homework, work with your child to identify
the maximum amount of time that he or she can productively pay attention before tiring or getting bored. Agree with
your child that he or she will work for only that amount of time and then take a short break to stretch, walk around the house,
or get a drink of water. Then resume working for the same amount of time before taking another short break.
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